genuine Linux

Linux Genuine Advantage™

Linux Genuine Advantage™ is an exciting and mandatory new way for you to place your computer under the remote control of an untrusted third party!

According to an independent study conducted by some scientists, many users of Linux are running non-Genuine versions of their operating system. This puts them at the disadvantage of having their computers work normally, without periodically phoning home unannounced to see if it's OK for their computer to continue functioning. These users are also missing out on the Advantage of paying ongoing licensing fees to ensure their computer keeps operating properly.

To remedy this, we have created a new program available as a required free download: Linux Genuine Advantage™!
Statue of mariner with albatross hanging around his neck

Albatross squawking violently at another albatross Linux Genuine Advantage™ works by checking our licensing server periodically to make sure that the copy of Linux you are running is Genuine. This is determined by whether you have paid us the appropriate licensing fees. If you are out of compliance, and are past the grace period, logins to your machine will be disabled until the license fees are paid. How to log in to enter the license key when logins are disabled is left as an exercise for the reader.

Finally! Linux users can experience a feature that until now remained the exclusive domain of proprietary software.

Once you've installed Linux Genuine Advantage™, you'll want to register and send in your licensing fees to receive these important benefits:
  • Your computer, which worked just fine before, will continue functioning normally!
  • Our software which you just installed will not disable logins on your computer (as long as our license server keeps working properly)!
  • It's totally awesome!
  • We might not raise the yearly licensing fees in the future!
get the Linux Genuine Advantage! (with picture of soaring albatross)
Did you wake up this morning and say "I wish someone would figure out a way to let me do less with my computer"? You've come to the right place!


The Windows Genuine Advantage servers went down worldwide, marking any Windows machines as pirated during Microsoft's server outage. Meanwhile, the Linux Genuine Advantage™ activation server was up the whole time. Truly another victory for Open Source software! Microsoft, contact us if you'd like to license Linux Genuine Advantage™, we'd love to enter into a lucrative licensing agreement. With the money you save, you could put the WGA programmers onto other tasks, like improving Vista!

The Linux Genuine Advantage™ crack is spreading! Someone uploaded it to The Pirate Bay! Looks like it's time to get more involved in Swedish politics from across the globe!

Linux Genuine Advantage™ has been cracked by computer hackers!
Rather than improving our software, we'll be sending our team of intimidating lawyers to pay them a visit.